Why was it that you never seemed to get a bargain when shopping? It seems every time you came back with your 'bargain' someone else had got it cheaper! Though you were never sure if you could believe them.

When you were broke and in need of a beer, you did the 'Tailor Run', usually in pairs. You would stop in front of their shop window and begin discussing the various merits of the clothing on display. Out would come 'Johnny' and invite you in for a beer and begin showing you samples. You would keep an animated conversation going and discuss fabrics nd designs and a second beer would arrive. As soon as 'Johnny' caught on that there would be no forthcoming order, the beer was turned off and you would leave to repeat the process at the next tailor shop. While it only worked once for you at each tailor shop, there were hundreds of tailor shops in Hong Kong and Kowloon. There were many a legless sailor using this stunt.

(Webmasters comment) The best 'free beer' stunt I ever heard of was from TO Barrow (1962 tour). He approached three bars in Hong Kong on the pretext of purchasing them. He not only had free beers, but free girls as well!! Well done! His ruse lasted several nights until they woke up to it and he was refused entry.

The Mad Chemist
Boy was that fellow before his time! "G'day Ned Kelly, I remember you from last time!', "Pigs bum! First time here!". "Must have been your brudder den! Come in and have a rook aroun, got everyfing to drive der girls wild. You be a sensation, day not resist you!" Everyone fell for the tablets that were supposed to drop in a Sheila's coffee and she immediately fell in love with you and wanted to race you off. They didn't ever work for me anyway, I think they were aspros.

The Cherry Boy
Can anyone remember who the young Ord was who we convinced the girls at the Low Kwok that he was a Cherry Boy and they all competed for him? He finished up with an 'all nighter' with two girls buckshee. Incidentally I think he really was a Cherry Boy and it took a fortnight and a dozen lemons to get the smile off his face.

Mahjong
I can remember when wandering around Hong Kong and Kowloon you could hear the click of Mahjong bones coming from buildings. I guess the Chinese gathered together to play Mahjong like we did Tombola (eyes down and looking). The Chinese say they have been playing Mahjong one way for thousands of years and foreign sailors have been playing it thousands of ways for a few years.

(Webmasters comment) Many girls in the bars and such, made a living from Mahjong - although gamboling in Hong Kong was illegal. I was privileged to be shown 'below decks' on the Floating Restaurants in Aberdeen where the noise of the ivories was almost deafening! Like many laws in Asia, the contradictions were amazing.

Blood Donations
When we were in Hong Kong for the second time, we berthed at Victoria Quay a day after the typhoon had gone through and mud slides had demolished a lot of squatters' huts and a large number of people had been injured. Blood was urgently needed so the hospitals and Red Cross set up blood extraction units in the sick bay of the ships in harbour. You got a bottle of San Miguel beer for a pint of blood. I have extreme difficulty giving blood even to this day - something to do with collapsing veins from fear so I am told. Anyway, the Jimmy, Lt Duncan, positioned himself outside the sick bay collaring everyone who went past and giving them a passive order to donate. He collared me and I was just explaining my difficulties giving blood when this Pommy Sister with ovaries hanging suspiciously near her kneecaps said "I'll get blood out of you sailor, I'm a real vampire!" and pulled me into the sickbay. This really put me in a relaxed state! She laid me on a bunk, wiped some ether on the inside of my elbow and suck a needle the size of a .303 barrel straight in! No local or anything! She now has my undivided attention as she gives me a ball and says squeeze this and blood will begin flowing. She came back about a minute later to find about a quarter of an inch of blood in the bottom of the bottle. She pulled out the needle and with the words "you're not trying, are you?" thrust it in again. At this point I wanted to put my free hand out and squeeze her low hanging ovaries. She came back about a minute later and she now had about an inch of my blood in the bottle. She grabs hold of the needle and starts moving it about. I snapped "Look lady, take that bloody needle out because I am leaving!". "Ok sailor, but you are not getting your bottle of beer!". "Stick your beer up your bum lady!". She acts all hurt and goes over to tell the Jimmy. By this time my arm is black and blue where she was sticking the needle in. The Jimmy says to me "Hardy, did you tell the Sister to stick her beer in her bum?" "Yes Sir, look at my arm!" "Christ, I would have told her too!" Case dismissed, on caps, about turn, quick march . . .