"The pay office and mail office on the Quiberon was just above the waterline on the starboard side in the officers' cabin flat. In other words, it was surrounded by officers' cabins. POwtr Colin Ferguson, L/S John Campbell (Postie and Boffer Capt) and I occupied this tiny space. Colin Ferguson wasn't a particularly good sailor and would use any excuse to go and get his head down during working hours. John Campbell and I did some terrible things to him to have the office to ourselves. If bacon was on the breakfast menu, you would save some rind and stick it up a nostril with about 1cm protruding. When Colin spied you, he would point, turn white and immediately disappear for the day. If bacon was not on, you could always keep a few baked beans or mince in your mouth and then say you weren't feeling too well and pretend to bring them up in your hand. This also worked a treat and Colin was on his way post haste. The pay office had a scuttle which could only be opened on rare occasions at sea as it was too close to the waterline. You certainly wouldn't use a windscoop unless you wanted a salt water shower. I can remember one day I was alone in the office in the South China Sea, the sea was so calm I had the scuttle open and decided to clean up the place, throwing out old signals and other correspondence no longer required and decided to use the scuttle for a waste shoot. Incidentally, the scuttle was also known as the 'wall safe' where you filed useless items. Boy it held a lot though it was most difficult to find anything again.
"Anyway, I was busily throwing all the guff out the scuttle when the Jimmy, Lt Duncan, came to the office. Fortunately when he arrived, I was not actually in the act of throwing anything out the scuttle. He said "Hardie, are you throwing items out of the scuttle?" I replied "No, sir, I wouldn't do that!" He said "How come there is paper and signals like his (showing me a handful) fluttering down on the quarterdeck obviously regarding the pay office?" I had a little trouble answering and Lt Duncan left after 'reading my horoscope'. "